Welcome to the Tweens.

by Julie Lucia

It has come with a gigantic explosion right in the comfort of my own home. How could this be? This is my sanctuary, yet this mythological beast has risen and has invaded our quiet space. I have a feeling instead of resisting, that we must just endure, pray, have patience, and pray some more until it vacates the premises. What is this horrible creature? It is a slamming of the door, an ignored request, a pout, lots of tears, and a stamping of the foot. And to sum it up…someone is practicing up for the pros…her teenage years!

I tried to warn her, I tried to tell her, to give her my great knowledge of things you must avoid to get through these treacherous times, so how could she just pass over this deep wisdom I have bestowed upon her?

All right, before you laugh, let me set up the scenario. My daughter was hurt when her secret was revealed by a new friend. Oh, the horror, the drama, the tears!! And then she fell into the trap of speaking angrily about her to another friend through an email. How could my daughter use the word, “hate?”

Didn’t she remember the rule? The rule…everyone knows the rule…If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all! Or my other rule, never put in writing something that could hurt others or yourself? How could she not remember?  I even gave her an example when I was young and got caught by a letter that was passed when I was mad at someone who hurt my feelings. I had to learn my lesson so she could skip this one. My past was supposed to shield her from such incidents. Yet, she chose to learn her own lesson. And I tried so hard to instill kindness in my children when speaking about others. How did I fail?

I think how often God teaches us lessons through the bible, yet we do the same things. We make mistakes and have to learn the hard way. I can see God saying, “These were written down so you wouldn’t have to make the same mistakes…Joseph bragging to his brothers, David stealing another’s wife, and the unforgiveness of Jonah. What are you doing?”

The bible is filled with lessons to help us with our lives. So why do we ignore it? I suppose there are some things we just need to learn on our own. It is the only way we can grow in wisdom and learn to rely only on God, (especially when we make mistakes). It is nice to know that no matter the trouble we get ourselves into he continues to love us. That is a pretty great feeling. So for now, wish me luck with this new assault on my home. Oh, and by the way, do you have any aspirin?

Proverbs 16:24 – Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Dying to Our Dreams

Written By Amy Beth Williams

Have you ever felt like you were in the dying process of your dreams of career, relationships or some other heart’s desire? Is it an unfamiliar and painful place of ambivalence or seeming detachment? What once captivated our hearts is no longer in the forefront but more in the peripheral. There is something freeing about that place but at the same time a bit unfamiliar and eerie. I was reading this morning in Oswald chambers “Utmost For His Highest” and it really struck me. He talks about that very thing as related to sanctification.

“Sanctification requires our coming to the place of death, but many of us spend so much time there that we become morbid. There is always a tremendous battle before sanctification is realized— something within us pushing with resentment against the demands of Christ…

In the process of sanctification, the Spirit of God will strip me down until there is nothing left but myself, and that is the place of death. Am I willing to be myself and nothing more? Am I willing to have no friends, no father, no brother, and no self-interest— simply to be ready for death? That is the condition required for sanctification….

Am I willing to reduce myself down to simply “me”? Am I determined enough to strip myself of all that my friends think of me, and all that I think of myself? Am I willing and determined to hand over my simple naked self to God? Once I am, He will immediately sanctify me completely, and my life will be free from being determined and persistent toward anything except God….(Sanctification) means being made one with Jesus. Sanctification is not something Jesus puts in me.” Oswald Chambers.

Another source defines sanctification as “the state of proper functioning.” To sanctify someone or something is to set that person or thing apart for the use intended by its designer. A pen is “sanctified” when used to write. Eyeglasses are “sanctified” when used to improve sight. In the theological sense, things are sanctified when they are used for the purpose God intends. A human being is sanctified, therefore, when he or she lives according to God’s design and purpose.”

I suddenly felt honored to be a part of God’s bigger plan. Knowing that He has a larger purpose for me –
for us. The death of our dreams is sometimes a necessary process in order that He may sanctify our hearts. For that to happen, we must let go of everything we are clutching tightly onto other than God and trust Him with the outcome.

What are you grasping in your hand today? Surrender it to God and trust the designer to establish your life purpose. He will work out in you what He has predestined in you before you were born- and it may just be a resurrection of the very desires and dreams He asked you to die to.

This is the will of God, your sanctification… —1 Thessalonians 4:3

It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 1 Corinthians 1:30

Fried Dreams & Salted Past

by Julie Lucia

Upon reading Fearless, by Max Lucado, I was struck by one profound paragraph – “The prisoners who were optimistic died of broken hearts. The one who survived had sustaining faith.”

During difficult seasons in my life it is in my nature to be optimistic. It is a trait I have been given by my mother and has passed down to my daughter. It has been an enormous comfort when things don’t go the way I planned, (Which happens a lot). It has also caused a lot of heartache and disillusionment when hopes and dreams are dashed or I ask God to fix a situation or show me something good to come out of hurtful circumstances and put a timeline on it.

You might catch me several times telling my children to enjoy the journey. It is because I love to plan. Sometimes I get more excited about planning something then I do the actual event. Maybe it comes from my days as an event planner, but, who doesn’t love the season of Christmas or waiting excitedly for your first baby to be born?

My twenties I planned and excitedly anticipated finishing graduate school, finding a new job, vacations, my wedding, and a new home. My thirties, I waited excitedly for my children to be born and planned out our days, our meals, our getaways and prepared for the first day of school.

Do you notice what they all have in common?  End dates. I knew all the planning and dreaming there would be a day that they would actually take place. Maybe not on the actual day that was scheduled (like two of my children who decided to wait a week after their due date to arrive).

When I came to my forties I found myself not planning anything but our dinner. All those years I was excitedly anticipating something profoundly exciting and now I found myself at a loss. I still have hopes and dreams and promises God has placed in my heart but they are so big there is no specific date given. God has shown me that I literally need to take one day at a time. I don’t need to plan the next big thing. I can be excited about where He is taking me. Maybe I would have learned that earlier my heartaches and disappointments would have been less. I can rest in Him knowing His plans are so much better than mine wherever they take me.

And maybe now I can take my own advice and “Enjoy the Journey.”

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Life Under Construction

By: Amy Beth Williams

Life under construction:  Experiencing life’s delays, detours and ditches.

For the past several months, I have had the unpleasant experience of road construction right outside my apartment building. Between the jackhammers, bulldozers and orange cones, I am ready for it to be over!

As much as an annoyance this entire project is to me, I have come to realize that my life isn’t much different. God oftentimes has us “under construction” in whatever area He sees fit. First there are the detours. You know, those times when your plan A turned into plan B, turned into Plan Y? It’s when we think we know best and God proves otherwise (and by the way, He is always right). Detours are often necessary for God to test our hearts, grow our faith and to remind us to surrender control and leave the driving to God. We can’t get to our desired destination without His wisdom and guidance.

Secondly, there are the delays. Just when you think the destination is right around the corner, another two months pass, then a year and before you know it, you start to believe God has forgotten you. Waiting is HARD. There is nothing more difficult than waiting on a promise from God without any outward encouragement. The temptation is to take a shortcut but we learned from Abraham and Sarah that it’s better to wait on God than to create a proverbial Ishmael.  Trust His timing. He knows best!

And then there are the ditches. Those places in life where we get stuck and there seems to be no way out. No matter what we do or how hard we try, we feel shipwrecked. I know from my own life, there are many times when the very pit I prayed my way out of was the very place that God was preparing me for the blessing. Just like Joseph, we need to trust that God is in our seemingly helpless situations and is just waiting for us to surrender control so that His glory can be displayed in our lives. There is a purpose even in the ditches of life.

There are few other things about construction I have noticed:

1. It never seems to have an end.

2. Eventually, it does end.

3.  It’s always for a purpose, even when we can’t see it at the time.

We have to remember even when, especially when, God is working on us. Let Him have His way – He knows how to get you to the other side safely. Remember: the orange cones are only temporary!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.” Proverbs 3:5

A Lesson from the Bamboo Tree

By Amy Beth Williams

I was just talking to a friend about how the ordinary days of seeing absolutely nothing are so much more common than the truly “seeing God at work” days. The challenge is to hold on when nothing outwardly changes, knowing that he is working behind the scenes and for us to still rejoice despite what we see – or don’t see. So here’s a mini sermon after doing a little research on how bamboo trees and how we can relate spiritually…

In the first 4years after a bamboo is planted, nothing can be seen but a small blade. It would be easy and logical to assume that every day that passes, nothing is happening and it’s pointless to believe it will. But EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING! What we don’t see is that all the growth is taking place underground building miles of an intricate root system that is so complex and sophisticated that it will support and sustain the massive growth that is predestined for the plant. If you try to pull the tiny blade out of the ground, it’s impossible because the roots grow so deep and they become incredibly strong that it won’t budge. After the root system is complete, the tree can grow up to 90 feet in a year! This compared to other fast growing trees that only reach 2.5 feet per year.

In another article about bamboo trees, I read “You CANNOT shortcut the amount of time it takes a species to establish it’s rhizome (root) system” as it will destroy the sustainability of the plant. How often I want to shortcut the waiting, not realizing that I am destroying the foundation of His blessing. It’s amazing how similarly God works in our own lives. As long as we can stand in a place of belief that God is working and growing us below ground and our only job is to water it, nurture it and not grow discouraged or lose heart when we see nothing change. In that place, we can look above ground at that little tiny sprout and still know it holds everything God promised and no one can yank it out of the ground. Let us not grow weary in waiting but let us thank God for establishing a root system that will uphold His great calling in our lives.

“God is not slow in keeping His promises as some understand slowness.” 2 Peter 3:9

“Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” John 12:24

BITTER BAKE

by Julie Lucia

Have you ever been on the receiving end of feeling the sting of betrayal by a friend, a loved-one, co-worker, and even a family member? No matter how many times it can happen to you throughout life, you always feel shocked as if you should have seen it coming.  What?  How did you not have any clue that this person’s needs came before your own and that their happiness could only be accomplished by hurting you?

It could even be a minor infraction.  When my husband lost his job, I was surprised by the insensitivity I had found from people I cared about. I remember right after it happened I was still in shock and I ran into a friend of mine. I told her what had just happened. She quickly gave her condolences and offered to meet me for coffee sometime and then left just as quickly. I never once heard from her during the entire nine months we went through it. She wasn’t the only one. There was another friend I used to see frequently and she suddenly had no time for me.

I was very hurt by the lack of care that was given to our circumstance. I wasn’t asking for a job or even food (My father-in-law had provided the latter often!). It was their time that I was hoping for, maybe just a quick text or a call asking if we were doing okay or just to offer an encouraging word or two.  “Just thinking of you…”  (They actually make cards that say just that). Another made light of the entire situation… “Oh you’re fine at least it is not an illness,” and then left on vacation.

Psalm 38:11  – My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away.

I could have gotten bitter by it, but after stepping away from the circumstance I have realized that if you haven’t been through such an ordeal, no one really quite understands. After all it’s just a job, your bills, your savings, your way of life, your groceries, your embarrassment, your home, your families’ future and the bottom line is…it is your worries. It is not anyone else’s to bear. Therefore, how could anyone understand what you are going through?

It is anger about your circumstance mixed with hurt caused by others, heat it up a bit with humiliation and it let it stew for awhile.  You have now a fine recipe for bitterness.

It takes a while to realize sometime that you have even created it. You carry it around at first disguising it as one of your ingredients, (anger, humiliation, hurt), but then one day you know. You can’t feel forgiveness in your heart when you recall a trial and everyone who had played a part in it.

I am so glad God gets it. He understands our struggles and He never ever has a lack of care toward us and our circumstances. That is why so many great bible heroes have called Him, “friend.”  He is the truest of friends and He is always there to help us in time of need, even if it is to help us get rid of our poorly made bitter bake.

Proverbs 14:10 – The heart knows its own bitterness, And a stranger does not share its joy.

Ephesians 4:31- Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice

John 15:15 – No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

Pearls of Wisdom

By Amy Beth Williams

I was struck by an Oscar winning screenwriter who said whenever he was in a  dry season, he always envied his accountant brother who had a very steady and balanced life. His world was predictable and safe; the complete opposite of this writer. But he said the mountaintops were so worth the valleys and when at the top of the mountain the valleys seem insignificant and life as an accountant for him would’ve been a world of monotony. Of course his words resonated with me, not just because I am a screenwriter who sees more delays than breakthroughs, but because he is describing the life we all live.

I was asked to share my life story recently and as I scanned my mind for the highlights  of  my life, they were always connected to the lowlights. In other words, the biggest and best things that God did  in my life were  usually on the heels of a steep valley filled with fear, uncertainty and trepedation – because I didn’t know the ending. But now, looking back, I realized that without the valleys, there would be no mountains. And for that reason, I am willing to go to the valleys.

As a writer,  a story is compelling only when there is conflict. if you think about some of your favorite movie characters, you will find their journey is filled with a great deal of conflict to overcome. As much as I love writing in conflict, I hate it in my own life.  In fact, if I had it my way, there would be no conflict, but we live in an imperfect  world with imperfect people so we should expect nothing less. But I say all that to say that conflict draws out character. As a writer, I know the ending and I know what needs to happen to the character in order for him or her to have a believable, redeemable story arc. People change and are formed in and through conflict. Not just on a page but in our lives.

I also heard the question posed recently, who has made the biggest difference in your life. The person on the other end of the question said sometimes it’s the people in our lives who have caused us the most upheaval and annoyance because it’s the sand in the oyster that creates the pearl.

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do  not give up.” Galatians 6:9

Bravery + Passion = Perseverance

by Julie Lucia

I live in a school district that has amazing parents who care about our students, teachers and the future of education. One mother in particular had been advocating for years. Her solitary voice and her “advocating” yard sign sat alone throughout the neighborhood and yet she never once gave up the fight. I not only admire her, I am in awe of her persevering spirit throughout it all. Alone her voice has been a beacon to inspire others and the result has been astounding!

Her efforts remind me of when I saw an episode of “Whale Wars.” I watched the brave Peter Hammarstedt, (Captain Watson was not there at the time) man his vessel, Sea Shepherd – his goal – to keep a mammoth tanker from refueling a whaling ship. He didn’t care how small his own ship was, his passion was mightier than this gargantuan tanker and the threat it could cause him and his crew.  “I will not move. You will have to sink me. I will not let you refuel. I repeat, I will not move,” Peter announced over the radio.

Wow! He said it with such conviction! It looked as if they were going to be smashed to pieces into the whaling ship as the waves threatened to over take the Sea Shepherd.  The Captain was putting his crews’ lives at risk and yet he still refused to back down.  And the result – the tanker left and they saved countless number of whales that day!  It was a victory for Sea Shepherd! It was unbelievably awe inspiring!

Standing brave like David against Goliath or Moses against Pharaoh, where does that determination come from? Why can’t we all have that much passion and find that inner strength to never give up on our dreams, our goals, and God’s promises in spite of naysayers – even when we are alone in the fight.

We need to be our own captain of our emotions and take a stand against those negative feelings and words that play out in our mind trying to convince us things will never get better and our circumstances will never change. Be bold and insist that you will not be moved, even if you have to declare it out loud. “You can try to sink me (wind and rain – a.k.a. circumstances) but I will not be moved.”

2 Samuel 10:12 – Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.

Revelation 2:19 – I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first.

4 Emotional Triggers

By Amy Williams

If you’re anything like me, you have moments out of nowhere that your emotional balance feels well, out of balance. In a matter of minutes it could go from a moment of victory to an unexpected place of impatience and irritation. Oftentimes for me it can be triggered by a traffic jam or a rude person at the checkout line.  Although our emotions are a significant part of us, they don’t always represent the truth about or situation but they are more a litmus test to understand the root of our feelings. One of the most useful acronyms I have heard several times to remember when you are discouraged is H.A.L.T. Each letter represents an emotional trigger and are a warning sign to stop and address them.

1. Hunger. If you haven’t taken the time to eat and expect to feel emotional stable well, then you’re dreaming! Our bodies need healthy nutrition and though it may seem like an obvious task, I know so many people who realize at dinner time that they haven’t eaten all day. No wonder they are so unpleasant to be around!

2. Anger. This is a big one. If not handled and dealt with our attitudes and personalities are severely affected. Jesus teaches us to be willing to forgive others as He has forgiven us and any pent up anger left with is destined to eat us away like a cancer. We are called to forgive even when the other person isn’t sorry because it only destroy us as it turns into a deep root of anger and bitterness.

3. Lonely. So many people, including myself, dread feeling lonely and constantly keep busy to avoid this painful emotion. We must remember that we when are by ourselves that we are never alone. He is with us every second of the day and when I am tempted to avoid my loneliness instead of address it, I ask the Lord to remind me of His great love and that He is enough. No person, thing, achievement or dream can ever stack up to the overflowing and satisfying love that only He can give.

4. Tired. So many of us push ourselves so far past our healthy limits that it’s no wonder we are tired! When we are intentional about taking time to not only sleep but to rest, it’s amazing how quickly our current situation can turn from a mountain to a mole hill. Rest, I am learning, is crucial to mental clarity and necessary component of a productive life although sometimes it seems counter-intuitive to efficiency fanatics like myself.

Although these triggers are fairly universal, there are many others to list and everyone is different in what affects them the most. It’s important to identify them when our spirits are frazzled and to not just pray for emotional realignment, but to also take the practical steps including rest, fellowship, forgiveness and good nutrition. Once we can learn to manage our emotions in a healthy way, our days will feel less like the crashing of relentless waves and more like a tranquil sea. I don’t know about you but I am ready for some calm in my life!

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22

“Knock, Knock.” “Who’s There?”

by Julie Lucia

Today was a snow day for the kids. What should have been a delight for all, there was one who viewed it differently and had a bucket full of tears to prove it. “We won’t have a Valentine’s party now!”  She cried as she tried stifling her sobs into my side.

As I began to console my heartbroken nine-year-old, I realized how there are so many times in our lives that things just don’t seem to work out the way we wanted or planned. Disappointment becomes an old friend constantly knocking on our door.  “Hey, you remember me? Forgot I was hanging around did you? Can you open the door so I can introduce you to Despair and Frustration?”

Oh, how I hear that familiar voice and not only want to open the door to him, I usually ask him to also invite his friend, Self-pity. Because I heard he likes to have special parties just for me!

Before you touch that door knob, I suggest stepping away quietly and approach another door where Hope and Trust are waiting patiently. They are also saying, “Hey, remember me?” But they add, “It’s worked out for you before, why should you believe it won’t now? There is a better plan for you, a better way. Do not focus on what did not happen, but trust that your prayers have been heard and you have not been forgotten.” We know that “His ways our not our ways” and in most cases…that’s a good thing.

I notice when I do this, I find more to be thankful for and more reasons to smile. The bottom line – God is good. If we could just remember this when disappointment clouds are view, we can began to see our situation the way God sees it. Not hopeless, not impossible, but a future filled with endless possibilities!

 Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither our your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.